i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
