If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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