You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
