Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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