i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
