I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
