I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
porn star boner night. come get it.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
