Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
