Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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