so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You may now shotgun with the bride
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
