ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
