my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
