If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
