I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
