god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
