hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
