On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
We don't watch enough power rangers
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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