my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
