who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Randomize
