"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
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