The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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