5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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