didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Randomize
