I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
