his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Randomize
