Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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