i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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