So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
