i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You can't just leave with hair like that
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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