shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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