If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
