I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
So much Jack, so little girl.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
