sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Randomize
