Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
