Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
