Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
