I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
We're too hungover to prance.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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