just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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