It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
My breath smells like gin and sadness
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
