everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize