The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
