their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
soo... how was my night?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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