Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
