That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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