i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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