She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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