Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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