im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
