dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
