so explain again why im purple
no
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
