i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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