hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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