Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Randomize
