talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
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