Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
