He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
ttyl tear gas
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
